Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The MockRacy - 1

Bush Repeals English Language
Last Official Act as President


In what he hoped would be the capstone to his eight years as President, George W. Bush today signed an executive order repealing the English language.

Scrawling his name on the official document, Mr. Bush said that in abolishing English he had vanquished his "greaterest enemy."

For Mr. Bush, the executive order represents the realization of a longstanding dream that began in 2001 when he declared an official War on Grammar.

The President followed up that declaration of war in 2003 when he signed an executive order cancelling the agreement between nouns and verbs.

Mr. Bush's decision to repeal the English language could complicate matters for his successor, President-elect Barack Obama, who is scheduled to deliver his inaugural address tomorrow, presumably in English.

But thoughts of Mr. Obama seemed far away during today's jubilant Oval Office ceremony, which Mr. Bush summed up in four words: "I can has legacy."

Mr. Bush's executive offer also drew high praise from a fellow Republican, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska: "Being that the English language can and has been used in confusing and also too in harming ordinary Americans, knowing that it no longer can or will be used in doing that is something positive that this is doing also."

3 comments:

  1. The SEnate was plotting to approve the coronation of one Hillary, as the inauguration was winding down. Pretty slick!

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  2. snort snort you are too clever

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  3. I just had to read this again I was looking for something new LOL...but this is so priceless. And that quote of Palin's at the end is beyond BEYOND stupidity. She needs to learn the English language! (as did he) I coudln't believe that Bush did that; i saw no reason for it at all . . . especially as his last deal to sign off with. (rolling eyes)

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