Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Ship's Cat?!?

After writing my recent post about Alistair MacLean and his book "HMS Ulysses" I had the urge to read it one more time. I have always treated a good book as a good friend and I like to visit with old friends when I can. So I read once again, shuddred again, shed a tear or two and all the rest. Something struck me as I read one passage. It was a passage that dealt with a trouble-maker aboard the Ulysses - one named Riley. Here is a portion of that passage -



"Sorry," Brooks apologised. "Just fifteen minutes ago a bunch of sympathetic stokers deposited on the deck of the Sick Bay the prone and extremely unconscious form of one of their shipmates. Guess who? None other than our resident nihilist, our old friend Riley. Slight concussion and assorted facial injuries, but he should be restored to the bosom of his mess deck by nightfall. Anyway, he insists on it, claims his kittens need him."


Vallery looked up, amused, curious.


"Fallen down the stokehold again, I presume?"


"Exactly the question I put, sir-although it looked more as if he had fallen into a concrete mixer. 'No, sir,' says one of the stretcher-bearers. 'He tripped over the ship's cat.'"




Well, that piqued my interest since Mr. MacLean had told me that everything in the book had happened on one convoy or another during the war. He had sailed on two convoys and his brother, Ian, on four. They spoke from personal experience..


So I started looking around for information on ship's cats. Isn't Google a wonderful thing!? This is a part of what I found.


Cats have been carried on ships for a number of reasons, the most important being that mice and rats, which would inevitably find their way aboard a ship, could cause considerable damage to ropes and woodwork. More serious was the threat they posed to the stores the ship carried. Not only could they devour the foodstuff carried to feed the crew, if the ship was carrying grain or similar substances as part of its cargo, then they could cause economic damage as well. Rats and mice were also sources of disease, an important consideration when the ship could be at sea for a long period of time. Cats naturally attack and kill these rodents.


Cats were believed to have miraculous powers that could protect ships from dangerous weather. Sometimes, fishermen's wives would keep black cats at home too, in the hope that they would be able to use their influence to protect their husbands at sea. It was believed to be lucky if a cat approached a sailor on deck, but unlucky if it only came halfway, and then retreated. Another popular belief was that cats could start storms through magic stored in their tails. If a ship's cat fell or was thrown overboard, it was thought that it would summon a terrible storm to sink the ship and that if the ship was able to survive, it would be cursed with nine years of bad luck. Other beliefs included, if a cat licked its fur against the grain, it meant a hailstorm was coming; if it sneezed it meant rain; and if it was frisky it meant wind.


Some of these beliefs are rooted in reality. Cats are able to detect slight changes in the weather, as a result of their very sensitive inner ears, which also allow them to land upright when falling. Low atmospheric pressure, a common precursor of stormy weather, often makes cats nervous and restless.


The prevalence of cats on ships has led to them being reported on by a number of famous seafarers. The outbreak of World War II, with the spread of mass communication and the active nature of the world's navies, also led to a number of ship's cats becoming celebrities in their own right. Consider the following famous ship's cats.


Trim

Trim was the ship's cat on a number of the ships under the command of Matthew Flinders during voyages to circumnavigate and map the coastline of Australia during 1801-03. He became a favourite of the crew and was the first cat to circumnavigate Australia. He remained with Flinders, until apparently being stolen and eaten by hungry slaves. A statue to Trim was later erected in his honour, and he has been the subject of a number of works of literature. A statue sits on a window sill on the outside of the Sydney Library, in Sydney, Australia.
Trim's statue behind Matthew Flinders' own in Sydney, Australia. The plaque under it says:


TO THE MEMORY OF TRIM


The best and most illustrious of his race. The most affectionate of friends, faithful of servants,and best of creatures. He made the tour of the globe, and a voyage to Australia,which he circumnavigated, and was ever the delight and pleasure of his fellow voyagers........

Written by Matthew Flinders in memory of his cat. Memorial donated by the North Shore Historical Society.


Mrs. Chippy


Mrs. Chippy was the ship's cat aboard Endurance, the ship used by Sir Ernest Shackleton for his Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition. When the ship was lost, having become trapped and eventually crushed in pack ice, the sled dogs and Mrs. Chippy had to be put down, as they would not have survived the arduous journey ahead.


Kiddo


Kiddo seemed to have stowed away on the airship America, when she left from Atlantic City, New Jersey in an attempt to cross the Atlantic Ocean 1910. Kiddo was upset at first by the experience, but settled in and evidently, was better at predicting bad weather than the barometer. Her engines failed, and the small crew and Kiddo abandoned the America for lifeboats when they sighted the Royal Mail steamship, Trent, near Bermuda. Kiddo then was retired from being a ship's cat and was taken care of by Edith, the daughter of the American journalist, explorer, and aviator, Walter Wellman, who made the daring attempt.


Emmy


Emmy was the ship's cat on the RMS Empress of Ireland. A loyal ginger cat who had never once missed a voyage, repeatedly tried to escape the ship near departure on 28 May, 1914. The crew could not coax her aboard and the Empress departed without her. It was reported that Emmy watched the ship sail away from Quebec City sitting on the roof of the shed at Pier 27, which would later become a place for the dead pulled from the river, after the Empress of Ireland sank in a collision with heavy loss of life.


Convoy

Convoy was the ship's cat aboard HMS Hermione. He was so named because of the number of times he accompanied the ship on convoy escort duties. Convoy was duly listed in the ship's book and provided with a full kit, including a tiny hammock where he would sleep. He stood by his ship to the end and was lost along with eighty-seven of his crew mates, when the Hermione was torpedoed and sunk on 16 June 1942.


Tiddles


Tiddles was the ship's cat on a number of Royal Navy aircraft carriers. He was born aboard HMS Argus, and later joined HMS Victorious. He was often seen at his favourite station, on the after capstan, where he would play with the bell-rope. He eventually travelled over 30,000 miles (48,000 km) during his time in service.


U-boat


U-boat was another ship's cat aboard a Royal Navy vessel of the Second World War, who would take ‘shore leave’ whenever his ship came into port. He would spend days on shore, usually returning only just before his ship sailed. One day, U-boat failed to return in time for roll call and his ship was forced to sail. As she pulled away from the quay, U-boat was seen running down the dock after the departing ship. He made a death-defying leap onto the ship and succeeded in making it aboard. He was reported to be undaunted by his experience, proceeding to wash himself on deck. The crew members were apparently delighted their good luck charm had returned.


Peebles

MullPeebles was the ship's cat aboard HMS Western Isles. Another cat who became a favourite of the ship's crew, he was known to be particularly intelligent and would shake the hands of strangers when they entered the wardroom.


Blackie


Blackie was HMS Prince of Wales's ship's cat. During World War II, he achieved worldwide fame after the Prince of Wales carried the Prime Minister Winston Churchill across the Atlantic to NS Argentia, Newfoundland, where he secretly met with the United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt for several days in a secure anchorage. This meeting resulted in the signing of the Atlantic Charter, but as Churchill prepared to step off the Prince of Wales, Blackie approached, either to wish him well, or to go aboard the USS Augusta with him. Churchill stooped to bid farewell to Blackie, and the moment was photographed and reported in the world media. In honour of the success of the visit, Blackie was renamed Churchill.


The Unsinkable Sam


Previously named Oscar, he was the ship's cat of the German battleship Bismarck. When she was sunk on 27 May 1941, only 116 out of a crew of over 2,200 survived. Luckily, Oscar was picked up by the destroyer HMS Cossack. Cossack herself was torpedoed and sunk a few months later, on 24 October, killing 159 of her crew, but again, Oscar survived to be rescued, and was taken to Gibraltar. He became the ship's cat of HMS Ark Royal but she too was torpedoed and sunk in November that year. Oscar was again rescued, but it was decided at that time to transfer him to a home on land. By now known as Unsinkable Sam, he was given a new job as mouse-catcher in the Governor General of Gibraltar's office buildings. He eventually returned to the UK and spent the rest of his life at the 'Home for Sailors'. A portrait of him hangs in the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich.


Simon


Simon was perhaps the most famous ship's cat in recent times. He was the ship's cat of HMS Amethyst during the Yangtze Incident in 1949, and was wounded in the bombardment of the ship which killed 25 of Amethyst’s crew, including her commanding officer. He soon recovered and resumed his duties, killing rats and keeping up the crew's morale. He was appointed to the rank of 'Able Seacat' Simon and became a celebrity after the ship escaped the Yangtze and returned to Britain. He later succumbed to an infection and died shortly after. Tributes poured in and his obituary appeared in The Times. He was posthumously awarded the Dickin Medal, the only cat to ever earn the award, and was buried with full naval honours.


Pooli

Pooli at 15, on July 4, 1959Pooli served aboard a United States attack transport during World War II. Here she is pictured on her fifteenth birthday. Pooli, a veteran who rates three service ribbons and four battle stars, shows she can still get into her old uniform.


Chibbley


Chibbley is the ship's cat aboard the tall ship, Picton Castle. She was rescued from an animal shelter and has since circumnavigated the world twice. The Picton Castle’s role as a training ship resulted in Chibbley being introduced to a large number of visitors, and becoming a celebrity in her own right, receiving her own fan mail.


Tarawa


Tarawa was a kitten rescued from a pillbox during the Battle of Tarawa by the United States Coast Guard and named Tarawa. She was a mascot aboard an LST, but did not get along with the LST's other mascot, a dog named Kodiak, and jumped ship ashore.


Camouflage


Camouflage was the ship's cat aboard an LST. He was known for chasing enemy tracer rounds across the deck.


Ship's cats today Despite a long tradition, there are no longer ships' cats aboard Royal Navy vessels. The Royal Navy banned cats and other pet animals from its ships in 1975 on hygiene grounds. This regulation is routinely ignored in the Royal Navy and cats are still present on many ships around the world, such as Chibbley aboard the Picton Castle.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A Final Note About Zero

If you have been reading this blog then you know I had a cat named Zero - the cat named after Nothing. I occasionally allowed her to take over my writing and you have read some of that. But there came the day when Zero left this earth. I was crushed. I had to make the choice to "put her to sleep". Not easy.

For a few days afterwards I sat at this puter and not a single word would come. Then Judy asked, "What would Zero write to you now?"

What follows is what came out. If you do not know about Rainbow Bridge just do a google on that term and you will understand that reference. I took a sip of coffee and this is what poured out...

From Zero

Hi!

I know what you're thinking. You think I'm dead. Because you can no longer see me with your eyes, feel me with your hands or hold me in your arms, you think I may be gone forever. I am no longer at the foot of the bed, in the window talking to the squirrels or laying on your chest on the couch. You are seeing how I looked when I left this earth and you want to believe that I am alive and well in another place. I know that you are hurting deeply from the pain of our separation and that pain blinds you to that which is right in front of you...me.

Remember that day one August when I wandered up to your home? I sure do! Wasn't I the most intriguing creature you'd ever met? Do you remember how I made you laugh and smile? I wasn't just trying to get you to take me in. I saw something in you that I had not yet known. I know now that it was love. But I had never experienced it before.

I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to stay. How wonderful were the words you finally said - do you remember? - "Well, little one, it looks like you found a home." You said them with your eyes as well. And those words echoed in your heart – and in mine!!

Remember the days when I was in my prime and we did so many things together? You talked to me all the time, knowing that I was understanding every word! You were so proud of me that you called me your furperson! Do you remember how, after I had kneaded your shoulder for a while, the thought popped into you mind – "Thanks! I kneaded that!"? And how hard you laughed at that thought? Where do you suppose that thought started?

I was a good friend and I took care of you when you were sick, were angry or felt down and unhappy or when you cried. Just like you took care of me when I wasn't feeling good. When you didn't have a lot of time for me because of your obligations, I waited patiently for you and you always rewarded me by making the time just for me. Who else could I trust to remove that staple from my paw? The same one who held me and kept me warm for those long hours after I accidentally swallowed the Tylenol, of course!

You always forgave my mistakes and made me feel safe and secure. You learned every one of my meows and looks. You were so good at reading my eyes! Do you remember the words you said every single day as you left the house? I sure do – "Peaceful day, Kit!" And I had so many peaceful days!

Remember when age crept up on me, my bones became stiff and my movements slower? Still I met you when you came home and followed you around, took our walks on the deck and snuggled on the couch. We'd been together for so long and yet I still couldn't get enough of you! Even at the end when you faced the toughest of choices, you chose correctly and I will always love you for that. I think my eyes told you that before I closed them for the last time on earth.

Remember the last time we saw each other with our earthly eyes? You tried to be brave but you were crying...I know you so well! Did I not look at you with such trust and love that you yearned only to hold me close and keep me with you always? That was why I licked your tears. Did you not promise that you would love me forever? I believe you.

Remember the depth of love in my eyes when I looked at you. Who do you suppose created this love? You always told me that the Bible said that God is love. Would God diminish our laughter as it grew and flourished in this love? Yes, I am no longer on this earth with you. But my body was only part of who I really am and it would have been only a shell on earth if it were not filled to overflowing with my spirit. When we met you thought I was cute and adorable. What kind of relationship would we have had if this were all that I'd been? How could you have truly loved me if I had nothing within me?

Our lives are a gift from God. You taught me that God is eternal. Well, if He is then His gifts must be also! Otherwise, why would He bother? You can't see this love with your eyes and you can't hold it in your hands. Maybe you can't see our love in a solid sense like a dish or a lamp or gather it all up, put it in a box and confine it to one place. But you know it existed. There was no doubt in your mind and it showed in your words and actions. And your eyes.

There are those who will expect you get over me, insisting that I'm dead and you'll never see me again because animals don't go to Heaven. Oh really? Then why is there such a beautiful place like Rainbow Bridge? Where do you suppose that golden path leads?

Remember, you were as worthy of my love on earth as I was of yours. Do you really believe this love would be snatched from us forever by a loving God simply because I wasn't human? Was I not a living, breathing creation with a personality? How could I have been that way if I didn't possess that inner spirit that God breathed into His creation to give it life? And if this spirit is and always will be, then how can it be that I am dead? If my spirit did not have a share of all that is life then I was never alive to begin with. But I believe that you know better.

You cry because you miss me and I understand that. I hope you understand that I miss you too - I miss the head rubs, the face pushes, the snuggles and hugs and kisses that we shared. But life does go on beyond these wonderful, fulfilling physical connections. I am gone because it was time for me to go and because you lovingly released me. But my presence in your life was and still is a gift to be cherished just as I still cherish you. Your presence in my life is a most treasured gift!

Life is not simply about being born into a body, living a certain number of years and then dying. We are blessed with time in a body so that we can learn, share, love, grow and, yes, die. God never meant our bodies to be permanent. That is why He gave us our spirit and infused it with His spirit. Without our spirit we would indeed be dead and could never have experienced our love for each other. We would have never been alive!

I understand your tears, each one you shed is a testament to your love for me and I am honored and humbled. But don't forget those marvelous adventures and the good things we shared - remember and smile and laugh! This is an honor for me as well. Don't stop being proud of me. You thought I was a friend to be proud of and I am still your friend. You would have been a great cat!

Until we meet again...I'll meet you at the Bridge!

Love,

Zero

Monday, February 16, 2009

Just A Quick Laugh

I came across this little story and burst out laughing and decided to share it with you.

A man and his wife were driving through the beautiful Welsh countryside one day when they came across a road sign which reads -


Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch


(the longest town-name in the United Kingdom).


The husband says the name and his wife laughs. "That's not how you pronounce it," she says and proceeds to say it herself. Her husband nearly crashes the car laughing, and they start debating how to pronounce the name.


The debate soon became an argument, and coming up to lunch time they pulled into a restaurant in the town whose name is the subject of the argument. They walked in and the wife said to the cashier, "Excuse me, but would you mind settling an argument between my husband and me? Could you possibly pronounce the name of where we are, only please do it very very slowly."










Here it comes!!!







The cashier leaned forward and said, "Buurrgggerr Kiinngg."

Friday, February 13, 2009

Guidelines for Enlightenment - by Swami SmirkleHoffer

Be a Fundamentalist--make sure the Fun always comes before the Mental.

Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be canceled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put in the material world is to get more material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day, and that will ensure regularhilarity.

Remember that each of us has been given a special gift, just for entering - so you are already a winner!

The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That is where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we can simply change the channel.

Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop.

It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition called truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami's Absurdiveness Training class: Don't get even, get odd.

If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That way, there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.

I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find a fault, just don't dwell on it.

There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the world, and we'll never have to change it again.

If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is: there is no key to the Universe. The good news is: it has been left unlocked.

Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if you don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not a bureaucracy. So we don't have to go through channels.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Meeting Someone Famous - Part 1

I have been blessed in my life to have met some famous people. Let me share a few of them in this and some future posts. The first is Alistair MacLean. You may not be familiar with Mr. Maclean. Let me introduce him to you.


He was an author. He wrote the following:


HMS Ulysses, The Guns of Navarone, South by Java Head, The Secret Ways, Night Without End, Fear is the Key, The Black Shrike (as Ian Stuart), The Golden Rendezvous, The Satan Bug (as Ian Stuart), Ice Station Zebra, When Eight Bells Toll, Where Eagles Dare, Force 10 From Navarone, Puppet on a Chain, Caravan to Vaccarès, Bear Island, The Way to Dusty Death, Breakheart Pass, Circus, The Golden Gate, Seawitch, Goodbye California, Athabasca, River of Death, Partisans, Floodgate, San Andreas and Santorini.

Compared to other thriller writers of the time, such as Ian Fleming, MacLean's books are exceptional in one way at least: they have an absence of sex and most are short on romance because MacLean thought that such diversions merely serve to slow down the action. Nor do the MacLean books resemble the more recent techno-thriller approach. Instead, he lets little hinder the flow of events in his books, making his heroes fight against seemingly unbeatable odds and often pushing them to the limits of their physical and mental endurance. MacLean's heroes are usually calm, cynical men entirely devoted to their work and often carrying some kind of secret knowledge. A characteristic twist is that one of the hero's closest companions turns out a traitor.

Nature, especially the sea and the Arctic north, plays an important part in MacLean's stories, and he used a variety of exotic parts of the world as settings to his books. Only one of them, When Eight Bells Toll, is set in his native Scotland. MacLean's best books are often those in which he was able to make use of his own direct knowledge of warfare and seafare, such as HMS Ulysses which is now considered a classic of naval fiction.

You may remember some of these as movies. The Guns of Navarone, Where Eagles Dare, Force Ten From Navarone, Fear Is The Key, Breakheart Pass and Ice Station Zebra are the most popular. I have to tell you though that the Hollywood ending of Ice Station Zebra is a joke compared to the ending Mr. MacLean wrote. His ending was a classic of wit and humor.


I came to know his writing through my mother, a librarian. She would bring home each of his thrillers and we would engage in a contest. Read the book, figure out the ending, mark the page where you figured it out and then wait for the other to read and try to beat you. We continued this contest during the years I was in the Air Force and even after my discharge. We broke about even but to this day I treasure When Eight Bells Toll because that was my first win!


But that is not the book by Alistair MacLean that I treasure most. That honor is reserved for HMS Ulysses.


I first read this book back in 1961. I was 15 and thought of war as something exciting and something to look forward to experiencing. Something to be exalted. I wanted to read Catch-22 but the head librarian, a wonderful friend by the name of Mrs. Jeanne Shons, would not let me check it out. She said it was “too explicit” for someone my age. So I checked out HMS Ulysses instead. It is about the brutal North Atlantic convoys from Britain to Russia in World War Two. Since that first read I have read this book roughly once a year since. It still moves me.


This is NOT a book for those who cherish the fairy tales of Hollywood war movies. It is strong drink for those raised to think that war is always beautiful and the good guy always triumphs. It will stretch the sensibilities of those who have never served. It will bring tears and anguish to those who are willing to see what men can go through, do go through and, at times, must go through. It evokes strong emotions as it brings you face to face with the cruelty of war, and the devotion to duty that drives men on in spite of hardship and terror. But there is so much more--the realistic descriptions of life on a warship in the North Atlantic, men who reflect on the nature of war, individual acts of heroism and tragedy. All these things raise it above the common lot of the war novel. You will be inspired by some of it, fascinated by some of it, and you may even have to stop---as I did---to put the book down for a moment to recover when the terrible savagery of war becomes too gut-wrenchingly alive. You cannot help but shed some tears at times. Some books write of cold, but if you read this book, you will be cold. Some write of fatigue. If you read this book, your eyes will burn and your face will feel as if it's sliding off your head. Some write of despair. If you read this book, you will understand going on and on despite there being no hope simply because that's what you've been doing.


If you go to Amazon you can find this book available from third party sellers for very cheap prices. I would highly recommend that you pick up a copy and give it a read. I would be interested in your reaction.


There are two quotes from that book that have stuck with me ever since I first read them. The first is from Alfred Lord Tennyson. It would have an echo from another book that I would read many years later and that I will tell you about in a future post. Here is the quote –


“Come, my friends,
Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”


And the second quote comes from the beginning of one of the late chapters in the book.


“To all things an end, to every night its dawn; even to the longest night when dawn never comes, there comes at last the dawn.”


Many years later, in 1969, I was serving in the US Air Force and was stationed in England for 5 years. What a blessing! It was an amazing time and I traveled all over the country as time would allow. Many a three-day pass and several 30 day leaves were spent seeing all I could of that wonderful land and interacting with the British people. Remind me to tell you of the pub I lived in for the last year of my time over there!


On one three-day pass I headed to Southampton. I had never been there before and that was a good enough reason to see what I would find. Now, back in those days I was partial to bars and pubs and I set out to find a small, local pub in Southampton. I was not “into” the big, loud clubs or chain restaurants and pubs. I preferred the small, quiet atmosphere of a good pub. I found a nice looking place called “The Bosuns Locker”, walked in and ordered a pint of Guinness.


As I took my first sip of my pint, I looked around. There was only one other customer and he was sitting in a corner of the room at a table. He looked up and nodded and I nodded back. He looked familiar and I wracked my brain to remember where I had seen him before. Of course! On a book jacket. He looked like Alistair MacLean! I thought the chances of him being in the same pub as I was had to be pretty slim but I wanted to run over there and introduce myself. I was also aware of the strong possibility of saying something incredibly stupid and being dismissed out of hand. I thought for a minute and several swallows of Guinness and then figured if I did say something incredibly stupid there would only be two people who would ever know and that nothing ventured was nothing gained. I walked over.


“To all things an end, to every night its dawn; even to the longest night when dawn never comes, there comes at last the dawn.”


He looked up and smiled. “Well then lad, pull up a chair. Yer pint looks close to the bottom. Another?”


“Thank you, yes.”


“So lad, you’ve read me book. Did ya like it then? Andy! Another pint of Guinness and me usual please.”


“Yes and it changed my thinking forever. I have read it many times since. It still brings tears, chills and shudders.”


“Aye laddie. That is worth more to me than any royalty check! It was hard to put words to what goes beyond words.”


We talked for almost an hour. We played a couple of games of darts and he whipped me soundly. His accuracy with a dart was at least as good as his accuracy with the written word. He said something I found amazing. He almost never put HMS Ulysses down on paper. I asked him why. He replied that if you had never sailed on those arctic convoys you would think what you were reading was just impossible and just the ramblings of a demented ex-sailor. If you had sailed on them then you already knew and no further words were needed. It was his brother, Master Mariner Ian MacLean who persuaded him to write it. His brother told him, “Aye lad, do it fer those who no longer can.” Both his brother and Mr. MacLean had sailed on those convoys – Ian on four and Alistair on two. I stand in awe on anyone who sailed on even one.


When he had to leave, Mr. MacLean bought me one more pint, shook my hand, said “Thank you mate” and left. I never did ask for an autograph. It seemed trivial and a bit tacky. I just smiled into my pint for a bit and left.


When I got back to Bentwaters (the base I was stationed on) I placed a call home. I just had to share this with Mom. She thought it was just amazing and told me she would share it with Mrs. Shons. About a week later I got a letter from Mrs. Shons that said, in part, “Now aren’t you glad I wouldn’t let you take out Catch-22?”


On February 2, 1987 I read that Mr. MacLean had passed away. Once again, a tear or two leaked from my eyes.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

New Technology - B.O.O.K.

B.O.O.K.
Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge Device, tradenamed - BOOK.

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on.

It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere-even sitting in an armchair by the fire-yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

Here's how it works: BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKS with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.

BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it. BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled on it and it becomes unusable if dropped too many times on a hard surface. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pin-points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session-even if the BOOK has been closed.

BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarks can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK. You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools, Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Lake - 6 6 - ekaL ehT


Well, it has been a quiet time in Lake Nuncansee lately. The storm did very little damage although the statue of the Unkbown Airman now has matching ears and sits about ten feet further back than he used to. It looked as if he saw the tornado coming and tried to run but the weight held him back a bit.

On the social scene there was a rather important anniversary celebrated last week. The Halls, Monte and Zuma, were given a party in honor of their 50th year of marriage. Their two sons, Stud E. and Al K., did all the work and a good time was had by all. The big present that the Halls received was a high definition, lcd color television with a fifty inch screen and a smaller version with a two inch screen. Monte commented that it was always what he wanted - a trash compactor.

The circus was in town. Everybody was having such a good time watching the acts and visiting the carnival booths. I was fascinated by one booth that held a lady who said "no" to everything that she was asked. No matter how hard people tried the answer was always "no". The sign on the front of her booth read -"Cleopatra -Queen of Denial".

All the fun went out of it though. During the grand parade Chuckles the Clown was killed by an elephant. It is suspected that the peanut costume that Chuckles was wearing at the time may have been the cause. He had been with the circus since his birth to a family of circus clowns. Born in a trunk, died in a trunk. It is miraculous that no one else was hurt -you know how hard it is to stop after just one peanut. A few of the other clowns that were dressed as bananas quickly vacated the area lest one of the gorillas try to peel him to death.

Well, that certainly messed up what otherwise had been a pretty good day. I thought maybe a quiet walk would help so I went walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me and I didn't hear it.

Anyway, while I was out for this walk I got to thinking about hobbies. To me, at least, a hobby is something you go crazy about in order not to go crazy over everything else in the world. I guess the most popular form of hobby is collecting. People collect everything from stamps, coins and postcards to beer cans, liscense plates and matchbook covers. I have a large seashell collection that I keep scattered over the beaches of the world. Maybe you've seen it.

One of my freinds here at Lake Nuncansee has a hobby of inventing things. He keeps plugging away, day after day. He hasn't had too much success lately but he just sent off for a patent on something that I think has real promise for this rush-around world that you humans seem to enjoy living in. It is a microwave fireplace. You can lie down in front of the fire for the evening in eight minutes.

By the way, my friend's human is a midget. It was tough to make a living for awhile but now he has a steady income posing for trophies. He was rushed to the hospital with severe cramps last week but when he read the admission form he left. It said "Sex - Male or Female". He didn't think much of a hospital that couldn't tell the difference.

I also met an elderly couple whose three sons had just taken over their ranch where they raised beef cattle. You know the kind that steaks and the like come from. They said that the ranch was now named the Focus Ranch. I thought that was a little odd until they explained that it was where the sons raise meat.

A local scientist is almost ready to try out his newest invention and thinks it may have possibilities to win a Nobel Prize. Proffessor Wardsback has been working for more than fifteen years on a device to travel through time. He has finally reasoned that he can't make time go backward in just one small location but rather it would have to be all of time everywhere all moving back together. He feels this would be a terrific idea that could be used to correct many mistakes that occur every day in the world. For example, one. could go back and not board an airplane that later crashed. He says that the possibilities are virtually endless.

Personally I don't think you can mess with time like that. There has to be some basic error in his reasoning but I can't think of what it would be. His big experiment is going to be held some time this afternoon. I hope the bitterness of failure won't kill his ambition. Actually the experiment should be starting right about now.

.bit a back him held of sort weight the but run to tried and coming tornado the saw he if as looked It .to used he than back further feet ten about sits and ears matching has now Airman Unknown the of statue the although damage little very did storm The. lately Nuncansee Lake in time quiet a been has it ,Well

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Breaking News!

Its a catastrophe for the apostrophe in Britain.

I guess I am not the only one who is interested in grammar!! LOL


This is from the Associated Press


Jan 31, 9:26 AM (ET)
By MEERA SELVA

LONDON (AP) - On the streets of Birmingham, the queen's English is now the queens English.
England's second-largest city has decided to drop apostrophes from all its street signs, saying they're confusing and old-fashioned.


But some purists are downright possessive about the punctuation mark.


It seems that Birmingham officials have been taking a hammer to grammar for years, quietly dropping apostrophes from street signs since the 1950s. Through the decades, residents have frequently launched spirited campaigns to restore the missing punctuation to signs denoting such places as "St. Pauls Square" or "Acocks Green."


This week, the council made it official, saying it was banning the punctuation mark from signs in a bid to end the dispute once and for all.


Councilor Martin Mullaney, who heads the city's transport scrutiny committee, said he decided to act after yet another interminable debate into whether "Kings Heath," a Birmingham suburb, should be rewritten with an apostrophe.


"I had to make a final decision on this," he said Friday. "We keep debating apostrophes in meetings and we have other things to do."


Mullaney hopes to stop public campaigns to restore the apostrophe that would tell passers-by that "Kings Heath" was once owned by the monarchy.


"Apostrophes denote possessions that are no longer accurate, and are not needed," he said. "More importantly, they confuse people. If I want to go to a restaurant, I don't want to have an A-level (high school diploma) in English to find it." But grammarians say apostrophes enrich the English language.


"They are such sweet-looking things that play a crucial role in the English language," said Marie Clair of the Plain English Society, which campaigns for the use of simple English. "It's always worth taking the effort to understand them, instead of ignoring them."


Mullaney claimed apostrophes confuse GPS units, including those used by emergency services. But Jenny Hodge, a spokeswoman for satellite navigation equipment manufacturer TomTom, said most users of their systems navigate through Britain's sometime confusing streets by entering a postal code rather than a street address.


She said that if someone preferred to use a street name - with or without an apostrophe - punctuation wouldn't be an issue. By the time the first few letters of the street were entered, a list of matching choices would pop up and the user would choose the destination.


A test by The Associated Press backed this up. In a search for London street St. Mary's Road, the name popped up before the apostrophe had to be entered.


There is no national body responsible for regulating place names in Britain. Its main mapping agency, Ordnance Survey, which provides data for emergency services, takes its information from local governments and each one is free to decide how it uses punctuation.


"If councils decide to add or drop an apostrophe to a place name, we just update our data," said Ordnance Survey spokesman Paul Beauchamp. "We've never heard of any confusion arising from their existence."


To sticklers, a missing or misplaced apostrophe can be a major offense.


British grammarians have railed for decades against storekeepers' signs advertising the sale of "apple's and pear's," or pubs offering "chip's and pea's."


In her best-selling book "Eats, Shoots and Leaves," Lynne Truss recorded her fury at the title of the Hugh Grant-Sandra Bullock comedy "Two Weeks Notice," insisting it should be "Two Weeks' Notice."


"Those spineless types who talk about abolishing the apostrophe are missing the point, and the pun is very much intended," she wrote.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Groundhog Day

A History of Groundhog Day


I’m certain that you know that today was Groundhog Day, but you probably do not know the history of the holiday. Just what is a groundhog, and why do we celebrate Groundhog Day every February 2nd? Well allow me to enlighten you.


The groundhog (Marmota monax), also known as the woodchuck, or whistlepig, is a rodent of the family Sciuridae, belonging to the group of large ground squirrels known as marmots. It was originally developed in Egypt, by the Visigoths engaged in a pyramid scheme around 2012 BC, by crossbreeding the beaver with the marmot.


Originally, the groundhog was developed for medicinal purposes. Extract from the groundhog’s liver was combined with olive oil and massaged into the joints to treat rheumatoid arthritis, achy joints from arthritis and relieve headaches by applying directly to the forehead over and over.


Later, it was discovered that the groundhog had mystical properties. Usually it would cast a shadow, but sometimes, it was able to cast no shadow at all. Generally, this frightened the commoners, but a courageous medicine man took some peyote and communicated with a groundhog and found that it was the groundhog’s way of predicting the future and fighting the boredom of a long winter stuck in a hole in the ground. If the groundhog casts a shadow, there will be 6 and a half weeks left of winter, but if the groundhog casts no shadow, spring will arrive in just over 6 weeks. This also frightened the commoners.


Winter is a rather dreary season. One and a half months had gone since the celebration of Winter, and one and a half months remained until the Celebration of Spring. So some dreary, but crafty Frenchmen decided to invent a celebration smack in the dead of winter. They ran a Google search and found out that the medicine man consulted with the groundhog on February the 2nd, which was conveniently in the middle of winter.


Then they decided, they would pay homage to the mysterious, prognosticating groundhog, who they had surrendered their common sense to, on February 2nd of every year. Now, every year, people the world over get together and marvel in fear at the awesome power of the groundhog or swallow some mushrooms and try to channel the furry creature.


As a final side note for Joy's benefit, no one ever tried to make bacon from a groundhog because they were too afraid of it’s terrible power. That and the thought of shadow-less bacon next to eggs served sunny side up made it just too overwhelming to even attempt.


Now you have the history of Groundhog Day, and hopefully, you’re just a little bit more confused… than usual. And perhaps a small smile has appeared at your lips - its shadow indicating six more weeks of humor.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Hamlet's Cat Speaks

To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to remain within: that is the question:
Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer
The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather
That Nature rains on those who roam abroad,


Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,
And so by dozing melt the solid hours
That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time
And stall the dinner bell.


To sit, to stare outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
A wish to venture forth without delay,
Then when the portal's opened up, to stand
As if transfixed by doubt.


To prowl; to sleep;
To choose not knowing when we may once more
Our readmittance gain: aye, there's the hairball;
For if a paw were shaped to turn a knob,
Or work a lock or slip a window-catch,
And going out and coming in were made
As simple as the breaking of a bowl,
What cat would bear the household's petty plagues,
The cook's well-practiced kicks, the butler's broom,
The infant's careless pokes, the tickled ears,
The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
That fur is heir to, when, of his own free will,
He might his exodus or entrance make
With a mere mitten?


Who would spaniels fear,
Or strays trespassing from a neighbor's yard,
But that the dread of our unheeded cries
And scratches at a barricaded door
No claw can open up, dispels our nerve
And makes us rather bear our humans' faults
Than run away to unguessed miseries?


Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
And thus the bristling hair of resolutionIs softened up with the pale brush of thought,
And since our choices hinge on weighty things,
We pause upon the threshold of decision.