Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Tuning In To Sports

I watch a lot of baseball. Some of the funniest words I have ever heard come from the players and announcers of the game. Some just leave me speechless.

Enjoy.

THE WIS-DUMB OF YOGI

Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra, the former NY Yankee catcher, is best known for saying things like this:

"Surprise me."
- on where his wife should have him buried.

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

MORE DUMB QUOTES BY YOGI BERRA

"Do you mean now?"
- when asked for the time.

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"I made a wrong mistake."

Jerry Coleman is also a former New York Yankees star and longtime San Diego Padres TV announcer. He's been the voice of the San Diego Padres for almost 30 years. "Oh, Doctor" and "You can hang a star on that baby" are his most famous phrases. But not his most memorable. You see, by comparison, Jerry makes fellow Yankee Yogi Berra seem like a master of the English language! Here are some of Jerry's best calls:

"It's a base hit on the error by Roberts."

"There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base."

"Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either."

"They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe."

"Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight."

MORE DUMB QUOTES BY JERRY COLEMAN

"Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican ?"

"Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen."

"And he slides into second with a stand-up double!"

I'll leave you with this pressing question - "Why does everybody stand up and sing 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' when they're already there?"

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