Tuesday, March 23, 2010


It is just amazing how difficult some folks want to make English.

Public School letter to parents about making iced cupcakes -

Dear Parent/Guardians,

The Grade 7 Science classes are nearing the completion for the unit Pure Substances and Mixtures. In this unit, students have been introduced to the Particle Theory of Matter, and to some of the terminology related to the field of chemistry. They have also been given the opportunity to explore, and conduct experiments related to the properties of solutions and mechanical mixtures.

At this time all students are encouraged to discuss with you the content and expectations of the culminating task along with how it will be assessed. This culminating task allows students to demonstrate the knowledge and skills that he/she has learned throughout the module. Although students are responsible to independently complete this task, we would very much appreciate your assistance for the experimenting component, as students require access to a kitchen and some ingredients to develop their own mixture.
Thank you in advance for your interest and co-operation.

Translation: Your children are going to be making iced cupcakes in your kitchen.


Coca Cola letter to distributors - (from the UK - hence the spelling)

To outsource some aspects of our finance transactional processing activities... we will be transitioning certain transactional activities... there will be two primary impacts to your organisation... does not impact your current terms... aiming to minimise any disruption to our business, and we expect our performance levels to stabilise soon after the transition period.

Translation: We're changing our payment arrangements. Here's how it affects you.


Insurance company letter accompanying payment schedule -

Any endorsement number shown in this schedule but not included in the endorsement appendix shall be deemed to apply and form part of the appendix the endorsements bearing such number(s) being attached or previously applied.

Translation: Endorsements listed here still apply, even if they're not in the appendix.


Patient Visits GP -

... I arrive at my GP's office, only to be told that I haven't arrived until I converse with a screen that invites me to ‘Touch the screen to arrive'. My electronic check-in is completed by touching a virtual button labeled ‘arrive me'.

Translation: When I visit my GP, I need to touch a screen twice to check-in.


And a parting shot -

American Airlines

'Property Irregularity Receipt'

Translation: We've lost your luggage.

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