Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Some Thoughts At 2:00am

I was out on my deck yesterday and thought I saw an Eskimo -- but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.


No matter how much you push the envelope, -- it'll still be stationery.


A cat gave birth to kittens near the road -- and was cited for littering.


A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.


Two silk worms had a race -- they ended up in a tie.


Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway -- One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."


A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital -- his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was. The nurse said, "No change yet."


A backward poet -- writes inverse.




A Final Story For Today -


A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they Called 'Yam.' Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring Cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out to Western Canada to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.' Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just






..............................................







a common tater!

2 comments:

  1. I AM DYING LAUGHING oh my gosh this blog was TERRIFIC...and the ending of the potato family WAS TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY...I may post it somewhere!!!! lolololol

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