You Give Moms a Bad Name
9 months ago
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Bringing Home Some Plurals
This popped up recently, and I batted it around. The correct plural of the baseball term “RBI” (“run batted in”) is “RBIs,” even though the word that’s plural when it’s spelled out (“runs”) is at the start of the initialism. This does NOT mean that we’re actually saying “run batted ins.”
It just doesn’t work that way. By the same reasoning, why would more than one “IOU” be “IOUs” — there is NO plural in the expression “I owe you,” unless it’s more than one “you,” which is still “you.”
Fortunately, there are other examples of this sort of thing, as pointed out in “Garner’s Modern American Usage.” The plural of “WMD” (“weapon of mass destruction”) is “WMDs.” If you have been using “WMD” as the plural, you probably are one of those folks who feel strongly that “RBI” also is correct.
The other common one is “POWs” for “prisoners of war.” If you have been insisting on usage such as “there are still thousands of POW,” you probably will never change no matter what I say.
For the rest of you, form the plural of an initialism or an acronym by adding “s” — no matter what it stands for.
In general, other than in science- and math-related fields, simple, Americanized (or Anglicized) plurals of adopted “foreign” words are best. In most other instances, then, use “indexes” instead of “indices,” “appendixes” instead of “appendices,” “formulas” (not “formulae”), “spectrums” (not “spectra”), “funguses” (not “fungi”), “cactuses” (not “cacti”) and “octopuses” (not “octopi”).
Some additional considerations, mostly inspired by (or lifted from) “Garner’s Modern American Usage” by Bryan A. Garner:
The word “indices” is considered “permissible in the sense ‘indicators.’ ” Why not just use “indicators,” then?
Webster’s gives either “fungi” or “funguses” for the plural, implying that they’re equally acceptable. Again, I vote for the consistency of “funguses,” if for no other reason than not having to decide how to pronounce “fungi.”
The dictionary also offers both “cactuses” and “cacti,” but unless you’re a botanist, stay with “cactuses.”
As for “octopi,” Garner says that’s not even correct in its language of origin. He says the proper Greek plural is “octopodes.”
As I’ve said before, once English “borrows” a word, it often gets customized. In this case, “octopuses” grabs me, “octopi” doesn’t.
It just doesn’t work that way. By the same reasoning, why would more than one “IOU” be “IOUs” — there is NO plural in the expression “I owe you,” unless it’s more than one “you,” which is still “you.”
Fortunately, there are other examples of this sort of thing, as pointed out in “Garner’s Modern American Usage.” The plural of “WMD” (“weapon of mass destruction”) is “WMDs.” If you have been using “WMD” as the plural, you probably are one of those folks who feel strongly that “RBI” also is correct.
The other common one is “POWs” for “prisoners of war.” If you have been insisting on usage such as “there are still thousands of POW,” you probably will never change no matter what I say.
For the rest of you, form the plural of an initialism or an acronym by adding “s” — no matter what it stands for.
In general, other than in science- and math-related fields, simple, Americanized (or Anglicized) plurals of adopted “foreign” words are best. In most other instances, then, use “indexes” instead of “indices,” “appendixes” instead of “appendices,” “formulas” (not “formulae”), “spectrums” (not “spectra”), “funguses” (not “fungi”), “cactuses” (not “cacti”) and “octopuses” (not “octopi”).
Some additional considerations, mostly inspired by (or lifted from) “Garner’s Modern American Usage” by Bryan A. Garner:
The word “indices” is considered “permissible in the sense ‘indicators.’ ” Why not just use “indicators,” then?
Webster’s gives either “fungi” or “funguses” for the plural, implying that they’re equally acceptable. Again, I vote for the consistency of “funguses,” if for no other reason than not having to decide how to pronounce “fungi.”
The dictionary also offers both “cactuses” and “cacti,” but unless you’re a botanist, stay with “cactuses.”
As for “octopi,” Garner says that’s not even correct in its language of origin. He says the proper Greek plural is “octopodes.”
As I’ve said before, once English “borrows” a word, it often gets customized. In this case, “octopuses” grabs me, “octopi” doesn’t.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Looking Up Up
This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.
At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP!
Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?
U
P!
Did that one crack you UP?
What you do with this information is UP to you.
Now I'll shut UP!
Why is that one person giving me half the peace symbol and yelling "UP yours!"?
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.
At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP!
Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?
U
P!
Did that one crack you UP?
What you do with this information is UP to you.
Now I'll shut UP!
Why is that one person giving me half the peace symbol and yelling "UP yours!"?
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Where Is A Good Saint When You Need One?
Did you ever wonder just how many saints there are? Or need one for a particular problem? Try calling on some of these.
St. Florian, Patron Saint of soap boilers.
St. Goar of Aquitaine, Patron Saint of champagne bottlers.
St. Martin of Tours, Patron Saint of geese.
I wonder if anyone on Donld Trump's show has ever prayed to St. John Bosco, the parton of apprentices.
Charles Borromeo, Apple Orchards.
Magnus of Füssen, Caterpillars.
Guy of Anderlecht, Animals with Horns.
Beer brewers, St. Augustine.
Catherine of Alexandria, patron of knife sharpeners.
St. Venerius, patron saint of lighthouse keepers.
And to finish off a very incompltere list...
Christopher: Truck Drivers
Adjutor: Yachtsmen
Dismas: Thieves
Vitus: Snakebites
Gabriel the Archangel: Stamp Collectors
Bartholomew: Tanners
Bernard of Montjoux: Skiers
Vincent Ferrer: Plumbers
Bartholomew: Plasterers
Nichola of Myra: Perfumors
Dunstan: Locksmiths
Theobald of Provins: Janitors
Joseph: House hunters
John the Baptist: Highways
Fiarce: Hemorrhoids
Mary Magdalene: Hairdressers
Anthony of Egypt: Grave diggers
Luke: Glassworkers
Bona of Pisa: Flight attendents
Vitus: Dog bites
Vitus: Dancers
Lawrence: Cooks
Eligius: Coin Collectors
Anne: Cemeteries
John Nepmucen: Bridges
Christopher: Bus drivers
Ambrose: Bees
Anthony of Egypt: Basket workers
Cosmas and Damian: Barbers
Elizabeth of Hungary: Bakers
Rene Goupil: Anesthetists
Genesius: Actors
And the last few are ones we may actually find interesting -
Librarians, libraries - Jerome, Catherine of Alexandria
Writers - Francis de Sales
Literature - St. Helena
and finally - There is good ole St. Robby, Patron saint of humor. I almost fell out of my chair when I learned that Robby is also the patron saint of insomniacs.
St. Florian, Patron Saint of soap boilers.
St. Goar of Aquitaine, Patron Saint of champagne bottlers.
St. Martin of Tours, Patron Saint of geese.
I wonder if anyone on Donld Trump's show has ever prayed to St. John Bosco, the parton of apprentices.
Charles Borromeo, Apple Orchards.
Magnus of Füssen, Caterpillars.
Guy of Anderlecht, Animals with Horns.
Beer brewers, St. Augustine.
Catherine of Alexandria, patron of knife sharpeners.
St. Venerius, patron saint of lighthouse keepers.
And to finish off a very incompltere list...
Christopher: Truck Drivers
Adjutor: Yachtsmen
Dismas: Thieves
Vitus: Snakebites
Gabriel the Archangel: Stamp Collectors
Bartholomew: Tanners
Bernard of Montjoux: Skiers
Vincent Ferrer: Plumbers
Bartholomew: Plasterers
Nichola of Myra: Perfumors
Dunstan: Locksmiths
Theobald of Provins: Janitors
Joseph: House hunters
John the Baptist: Highways
Fiarce: Hemorrhoids
Mary Magdalene: Hairdressers
Anthony of Egypt: Grave diggers
Luke: Glassworkers
Bona of Pisa: Flight attendents
Vitus: Dog bites
Vitus: Dancers
Lawrence: Cooks
Eligius: Coin Collectors
Anne: Cemeteries
John Nepmucen: Bridges
Christopher: Bus drivers
Ambrose: Bees
Anthony of Egypt: Basket workers
Cosmas and Damian: Barbers
Elizabeth of Hungary: Bakers
Rene Goupil: Anesthetists
Genesius: Actors
And the last few are ones we may actually find interesting -
Librarians, libraries - Jerome, Catherine of Alexandria
Writers - Francis de Sales
Literature - St. Helena
and finally - There is good ole St. Robby, Patron saint of humor. I almost fell out of my chair when I learned that Robby is also the patron saint of insomniacs.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
What The Heck Is A Paraprosdokian?
After an email from a friend I just had to look up paraprosdokian. Here is the definition:
"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."
For example - "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.
Ok, so now enjoy!
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
15. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
16. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
27. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."
For example - "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.
Ok, so now enjoy!
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
15. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
16. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
27. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Do You Use A Full Deck?
I am sure you have all used the expression "Not playing with a full deck." Looking for a different way to say it? Look no further...
A couple of knights short of a Crusade.
Knitting with one needle.
Life by Norman Rockwell, screenplay by Stephen King.
A few guppies short of an aquarium.
Living proof that nature does not abhor a vacuum.
Marching to a different kettle of fish.
Mind on vacation - mouth working overtime.
No coins in the fountain.
A room temperature IQ.
Not the sharpest crayon in the box.
One horseman short of an apocalypse.
Out in left field with a catcher's mitt on.
Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel.
Skating on the wrong side of the ice.
Goalie for the dart team.
Useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
Gives a lot of bull for somebody who has no cattle.
A couple of knights short of a Crusade.
Knitting with one needle.
Life by Norman Rockwell, screenplay by Stephen King.
A few guppies short of an aquarium.
Living proof that nature does not abhor a vacuum.
Marching to a different kettle of fish.
Mind on vacation - mouth working overtime.
No coins in the fountain.
A room temperature IQ.
Not the sharpest crayon in the box.
One horseman short of an apocalypse.
Out in left field with a catcher's mitt on.
Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel.
Skating on the wrong side of the ice.
Goalie for the dart team.
Useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
Gives a lot of bull for somebody who has no cattle.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Just Asking
For Dave...
Here are some more of those questions that flutter by like glowing, green butterflies while waiting for sleep to arrive.
A stitch in time saves nine what?
Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do batteries run on?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Did Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Do witches use spell-check?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting?
If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it?
If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn?
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
Is the nose the scenter of the face?
Here are some more of those questions that flutter by like glowing, green butterflies while waiting for sleep to arrive.
A stitch in time saves nine what?
Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do batteries run on?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Did Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Do witches use spell-check?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting?
If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it?
If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn?
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
Is the nose the scenter of the face?
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Just A Random Thought
Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy were known for their physical comedy, but they had their share of fun with language, too. In one scene in the 1931 short “Our Wife,” Ollie is trying to make Stan understand that his planned elopement is supposed to be a secret: “Nobody must know about it. It’s strictly on the qui vive.”
What he was trying to say was “on the q.t.” (The right phrase wouldn’t have helped Stan, of course.)
In this phrase, which means “quietly” or “secretly,” “q.t” is simply an abbreviation of “quiet.” According to “American Slang,” its first recorded appearance was in 1884.
“Qui vive,” on the other hand, is a French phrase used by sentries, a form of “Who goes there?”
What it’s really asking is “Whose side are you on?” — literally, “Long live who?”
I suspect the penalty for a wrong answer could be severe.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
A Phrase Bugged Me
I came across a relatively familiar phrase recently and I started wondering where it came from.
Will nilly
Here's what I found -
Willy-nilly
Meaning
This term has two, slightly differing, but related meanings: 'whether it is with or against your will' and 'in an unplanned, haphazard fashion'. We tend to use the latter of these meanings today; the former was the accepted meaning.when the term was first coined.
Origin
There are many spellings in early citations, which relate to the 'with or against your will' meaning of the phrase - 'wille we, nelle we', 'will he, nill he', 'will I, nill I', etc. The expression also appears later as 'nilly willy' or 'willing, nilling', or even, in a later humourous version 'william nilliam'. The early meaning of the word nill is key to this. In early English nill was the opposite of will a contraction of 'ne will'. That is, will meant to want to do something, nill meant to want to avoid it. So, combining the willy - 'I am willing' and nilly - 'I am unwilling' expresses the idea that it doesn't matter to me one way or the other.
The Latin phrase 'nolens, volens' means the same thing, although it isn't clear whether the English version is a simple translation of that.
The second, 'in an undecided, haphazard manner', meaning of willy-nilly arrives from the first. The changeable 'this way, then that way' imagery of willy-nilly behaviour fits with our current 'haphazard' meaning of the term.
There's also a, now archaic, phrase 'hitty missy' that had a similar derivation. That comes from 'hit he, miss he'.
The phrase dates back at least a millennium, with the earliest known version being the Old English text, Aelfric's Lives of Saints, circa 1000:
"Forean the we synd synfulle and sceolan beon eadmode, wille we, nelle we."
Shakespeare was familiar with, and apparently quite fond of, the expression in various forms. He used it in The Taming of the Shrew, 1596:
Petruchio: [To Katharina]
Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented
That you shall be my wife; your dowry 'greed on;
And, Will you, nill you, I will marry you.
[I.e. I will marry you, whether you like it or not.]
and again, in Hamlet:
First Clown: Give me leave. Here lies the water; good: here stands the man; good; if the man go to this water, and drown himself, it is, will he, nill he, he goes.
[I.e. If a man chooses to drown he enters the water, if he chooses not, he leaves.]
The 'undecided' meaning of the expression appears to have spawned the later 'shilly-shally'. The OED is a little lax in dating this from the end of the 19th century. They cite Sir Walter Besant's novel The Orange Girl, 1898:
"Let us have no more shilly shally, willy nilly talk."
That makes the connection between 'willy-nilly' and 'shilly-shally' apparent. There are literally thousands of 18th and 19th century pre-datings of the phrase, in various newspapers and works of literature; for example, The Adventures of Dick Hazard, 1755:
Where I quartered, a good buxom Widow kept the house; and I had her before I was ten days in town --D-- me. She knew things better than to stand Shilly Shally.
Will nilly
Here's what I found -
Willy-nilly
Meaning
This term has two, slightly differing, but related meanings: 'whether it is with or against your will' and 'in an unplanned, haphazard fashion'. We tend to use the latter of these meanings today; the former was the accepted meaning.when the term was first coined.
Origin
There are many spellings in early citations, which relate to the 'with or against your will' meaning of the phrase - 'wille we, nelle we', 'will he, nill he', 'will I, nill I', etc. The expression also appears later as 'nilly willy' or 'willing, nilling', or even, in a later humourous version 'william nilliam'. The early meaning of the word nill is key to this. In early English nill was the opposite of will a contraction of 'ne will'. That is, will meant to want to do something, nill meant to want to avoid it. So, combining the willy - 'I am willing' and nilly - 'I am unwilling' expresses the idea that it doesn't matter to me one way or the other.
The Latin phrase 'nolens, volens' means the same thing, although it isn't clear whether the English version is a simple translation of that.
The second, 'in an undecided, haphazard manner', meaning of willy-nilly arrives from the first. The changeable 'this way, then that way' imagery of willy-nilly behaviour fits with our current 'haphazard' meaning of the term.
There's also a, now archaic, phrase 'hitty missy' that had a similar derivation. That comes from 'hit he, miss he'.
The phrase dates back at least a millennium, with the earliest known version being the Old English text, Aelfric's Lives of Saints, circa 1000:
"Forean the we synd synfulle and sceolan beon eadmode, wille we, nelle we."
Shakespeare was familiar with, and apparently quite fond of, the expression in various forms. He used it in The Taming of the Shrew, 1596:
Petruchio: [To Katharina]
Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented
That you shall be my wife; your dowry 'greed on;
And, Will you, nill you, I will marry you.
[I.e. I will marry you, whether you like it or not.]
and again, in Hamlet:
First Clown: Give me leave. Here lies the water; good: here stands the man; good; if the man go to this water, and drown himself, it is, will he, nill he, he goes.
[I.e. If a man chooses to drown he enters the water, if he chooses not, he leaves.]
The 'undecided' meaning of the expression appears to have spawned the later 'shilly-shally'. The OED is a little lax in dating this from the end of the 19th century. They cite Sir Walter Besant's novel The Orange Girl, 1898:
"Let us have no more shilly shally, willy nilly talk."
That makes the connection between 'willy-nilly' and 'shilly-shally' apparent. There are literally thousands of 18th and 19th century pre-datings of the phrase, in various newspapers and works of literature; for example, The Adventures of Dick Hazard, 1755:
Where I quartered, a good buxom Widow kept the house; and I had her before I was ten days in town --D-- me. She knew things better than to stand Shilly Shally.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
More Jerry
Three followers asked via email for more of Jerry Coleman. OK, here you go!
"If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement."
"It's a base hit on the error by Roberts."
"There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base."
"Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either."
"They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe."
"Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus."
"Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit."
"There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number."
"Johnny Grubb slides into second with a standup double."
"All the Padres need is a flyball in the air."
"Davis fouls out to third in fair territory."
"There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul."
"The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five."
"That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres -- two doubles and a triple."
"Montreal leads Atlanta by three, 5-1."
"You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it."
"Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500."
"The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside."
"That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures."
"Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues."
"The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split."
"At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3."
"Tony Taylor was one of the first acquisitions that the Phillies made when they reconstructed their team. They got him from Philadelphia."
"Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight."
"The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston."
"Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican ?"
"Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen."
At Royals Stadium: "The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri"
"I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series."
"National League umpires wear inside chest protesters."
"The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin."
"Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredicatable."
"Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion."
"The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century."
"There's two heads to every coin."
"Billy Almon has all of his inlaw and outlaws here this afternoon."
"If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did."
"If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck."
"He can be lethal death."
"Sometimes, big trees grow out of acorns. I think I heard that from a squirrel." "Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it."
"Hats off to drug abusers everywhere."
"That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it."
"At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria."
"I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over."
-Jerry Coleman
"If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement."
"It's a base hit on the error by Roberts."
"There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base."
"Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either."
"They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe."
"Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus."
"Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit."
"There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number."
"Johnny Grubb slides into second with a standup double."
"All the Padres need is a flyball in the air."
"Davis fouls out to third in fair territory."
"There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul."
"The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five."
"That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres -- two doubles and a triple."
"Montreal leads Atlanta by three, 5-1."
"You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it."
"Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500."
"The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside."
"That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures."
"Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues."
"The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split."
"At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3."
"Tony Taylor was one of the first acquisitions that the Phillies made when they reconstructed their team. They got him from Philadelphia."
"Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight."
"The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston."
"Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican ?"
"Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen."
At Royals Stadium: "The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri"
"I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series."
"National League umpires wear inside chest protesters."
"The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin."
"Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredicatable."
"Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion."
"The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century."
"There's two heads to every coin."
"Billy Almon has all of his inlaw and outlaws here this afternoon."
"If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did."
"If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck."
"He can be lethal death."
"Sometimes, big trees grow out of acorns. I think I heard that from a squirrel." "Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it."
"Hats off to drug abusers everywhere."
"That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it."
"At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria."
"I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over."
-Jerry Coleman
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuning In To Sports
I watch a lot of baseball. Some of the funniest words I have ever heard come from the players and announcers of the game. Some just leave me speechless.
Enjoy.
THE WIS-DUMB OF YOGI
Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra, the former NY Yankee catcher, is best known for saying things like this:
"Surprise me."
- on where his wife should have him buried.
"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
MORE DUMB QUOTES BY YOGI BERRA
"Do you mean now?"
- when asked for the time.
"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"I made a wrong mistake."
Jerry Coleman is also a former New York Yankees star and longtime San Diego Padres TV announcer. He's been the voice of the San Diego Padres for almost 30 years. "Oh, Doctor" and "You can hang a star on that baby" are his most famous phrases. But not his most memorable. You see, by comparison, Jerry makes fellow Yankee Yogi Berra seem like a master of the English language! Here are some of Jerry's best calls:
"It's a base hit on the error by Roberts."
"There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base."
"Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either."
"They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe."
"Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight."
MORE DUMB QUOTES BY JERRY COLEMAN
"Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican ?"
"Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen."
"And he slides into second with a stand-up double!"
I'll leave you with this pressing question - "Why does everybody stand up and sing 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' when they're already there?"
Enjoy.
THE WIS-DUMB OF YOGI
Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra, the former NY Yankee catcher, is best known for saying things like this:
"Surprise me."
- on where his wife should have him buried.
"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
MORE DUMB QUOTES BY YOGI BERRA
"Do you mean now?"
- when asked for the time.
"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"I made a wrong mistake."
Jerry Coleman is also a former New York Yankees star and longtime San Diego Padres TV announcer. He's been the voice of the San Diego Padres for almost 30 years. "Oh, Doctor" and "You can hang a star on that baby" are his most famous phrases. But not his most memorable. You see, by comparison, Jerry makes fellow Yankee Yogi Berra seem like a master of the English language! Here are some of Jerry's best calls:
"It's a base hit on the error by Roberts."
"There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base."
"Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either."
"They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe."
"Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight."
MORE DUMB QUOTES BY JERRY COLEMAN
"Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican ?"
"Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen."
"And he slides into second with a stand-up double!"
I'll leave you with this pressing question - "Why does everybody stand up and sing 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' when they're already there?"
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Excellent Post From The Chicago Tribune
John Kass
June 26, 2011
President Barack Obama made the mother of all verbal gaffes last week as he invoked a fallen hero while talking to troops who had served in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Naturally, his enemies moved to take advantage. But then, if one of Obama's Republican opponents had made such a gaffe, the Obamanites would grab it and twist it until the other guy screamed.
So the cycle began anew on Thursday.
"First time I saw the 10th Mountain Division, you guys were in southern Iraq," Obama said at Ft. Drum, in upstate New York. "When I went back to visit Afghanistan, you guys were the first ones there.
"I had the great honor of seeing some of you because a comrade of yours, Jared Monti, was the first person who I was able to award the Medal of Honor to who actually came back and wasn't receiving it posthumously," the president said.
But Sgt. Jared Monti didn't receive the nation's highest award from the president's hands.
Monti was killed in Afghanistan on June 21, 2006, repeatedly facing enemy fire as he tried to rescue a wounded comrade.
On Sept. 17, 2009, the president handed the Medal of Honor to Monti's parents. Obama apparently confused Monti with Army Staff Sgt. Salvatore Giunta, who was the first living person to receive the Medal of Honor since the Vietnam War. Giunta was presented the award by Obama in November.
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney, in a statement acknowledging the presidential mistake, said: "At Ft. Drum, the president misspoke when discussing the first Medal of Honor he presented posthumously to Jared Monti. …"
It was neutrally phrased, but for all the verbiage, there was one thing missing:
An apology.
A simple "I'm sorry" would have been nice. But in politics, an apology is seen as a sign of weakness, which is why the non-apology apology has become a modern art form.
The game is all about being the first to slash. And so Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus made one of the first cuts in an interview with CBS News.
"People make mistakes but ... when he is not scripted, mistakes seem to happen," Priebus said. "I think the president is a scripted, plasticized candidate and I think America is prepared to relieve him of his job in 2012."
Democrats will naturally be outraged, but have they forgotten how they flayed President George Bush for saying "they misunderestimate me," and discussing how people were "working hard to put food on your family"?
Bush served up all sorts of verbal goulash that got him in trouble. But after 9/11, there were new lines in Bush's face. His hair grew gray. He looked exhausted, and the ridicule came in waves.
Now look at Obama. What do you see?
His hair has gone gray. There are deepening lines in his face. He's exhausted. And when he misspeaks, the ridicule comes in waves.
Should politicians get called out for some of the ridiculous things they say?
Absolutely.
June 26, 2011
President Barack Obama made the mother of all verbal gaffes last week as he invoked a fallen hero while talking to troops who had served in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Naturally, his enemies moved to take advantage. But then, if one of Obama's Republican opponents had made such a gaffe, the Obamanites would grab it and twist it until the other guy screamed.
So the cycle began anew on Thursday.
"First time I saw the 10th Mountain Division, you guys were in southern Iraq," Obama said at Ft. Drum, in upstate New York. "When I went back to visit Afghanistan, you guys were the first ones there.
"I had the great honor of seeing some of you because a comrade of yours, Jared Monti, was the first person who I was able to award the Medal of Honor to who actually came back and wasn't receiving it posthumously," the president said.
But Sgt. Jared Monti didn't receive the nation's highest award from the president's hands.
Monti was killed in Afghanistan on June 21, 2006, repeatedly facing enemy fire as he tried to rescue a wounded comrade.
On Sept. 17, 2009, the president handed the Medal of Honor to Monti's parents. Obama apparently confused Monti with Army Staff Sgt. Salvatore Giunta, who was the first living person to receive the Medal of Honor since the Vietnam War. Giunta was presented the award by Obama in November.
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney, in a statement acknowledging the presidential mistake, said: "At Ft. Drum, the president misspoke when discussing the first Medal of Honor he presented posthumously to Jared Monti. …"
It was neutrally phrased, but for all the verbiage, there was one thing missing:
An apology.
A simple "I'm sorry" would have been nice. But in politics, an apology is seen as a sign of weakness, which is why the non-apology apology has become a modern art form.
The game is all about being the first to slash. And so Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus made one of the first cuts in an interview with CBS News.
"People make mistakes but ... when he is not scripted, mistakes seem to happen," Priebus said. "I think the president is a scripted, plasticized candidate and I think America is prepared to relieve him of his job in 2012."
Democrats will naturally be outraged, but have they forgotten how they flayed President George Bush for saying "they misunderestimate me," and discussing how people were "working hard to put food on your family"?
Bush served up all sorts of verbal goulash that got him in trouble. But after 9/11, there were new lines in Bush's face. His hair grew gray. He looked exhausted, and the ridicule came in waves.
Now look at Obama. What do you see?
His hair has gone gray. There are deepening lines in his face. He's exhausted. And when he misspeaks, the ridicule comes in waves.
Should politicians get called out for some of the ridiculous things they say?
Absolutely.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Google and the British Library
By Georgina Prodham
LONDON | Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:23pm EDT
(Reuters) - Google plans to digitize a quarter of a million books from the British Library's collections covering a period from the French Revolution to the end of slavery as part of its ambitious books project.
The search engine giant has already scanned 13 million books through partnerships with more than 40 libraries around the world, which it makes available through its search results.
The British Library project involves a selection of books published between 1700 and 1870, including feminist pamphlets about Queen Marie-Antoinette and an account of a stuffed hippopotamus owned by the Prince of Orange.
Google will bear the costs of digitization, and the items will then be available for full-text search, download and reading through Google Books as well as being searchable through the British Library's website and stored in its digital archive.
Google does not make any money from its library partnerships, but says the inclusion of material from books that have never been published online enriches its search results.
"Our aim at Google has always been to give people as much access to the world's information as is possible," Peter Barron, Google's head of external relations, told Reuters on Monday.
In Europe, Google only scans out-of-copyright books but its practice of scanning all books of its U.S. library partners has landed it in trouble with U.S. authors and publishers, who filed a lawsuit against Google in 2005 that is not yet settled.
Google was offering excerpts of books online without the permission of copyright holders, putting the onus on authors and rights holders to claim payments or to voice their objections.
The British Library works with a variety of partners and aims to have much of its collection of 150 million items online and available to the public by 2020.
A previous partnership with Microsoft resulted in the digitization of 65 million 19th century books, some of which are now available through an app for Apple's iPad launched earlier this month.
British Library Chief Executive Lynne Brindley told Reuters: "You can see we're on a long journey. This represents another significant milestone but there are plenty more to go."
LONDON | Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:23pm EDT
(Reuters) - Google plans to digitize a quarter of a million books from the British Library's collections covering a period from the French Revolution to the end of slavery as part of its ambitious books project.
The search engine giant has already scanned 13 million books through partnerships with more than 40 libraries around the world, which it makes available through its search results.
The British Library project involves a selection of books published between 1700 and 1870, including feminist pamphlets about Queen Marie-Antoinette and an account of a stuffed hippopotamus owned by the Prince of Orange.
Google will bear the costs of digitization, and the items will then be available for full-text search, download and reading through Google Books as well as being searchable through the British Library's website and stored in its digital archive.
Google does not make any money from its library partnerships, but says the inclusion of material from books that have never been published online enriches its search results.
"Our aim at Google has always been to give people as much access to the world's information as is possible," Peter Barron, Google's head of external relations, told Reuters on Monday.
In Europe, Google only scans out-of-copyright books but its practice of scanning all books of its U.S. library partners has landed it in trouble with U.S. authors and publishers, who filed a lawsuit against Google in 2005 that is not yet settled.
Google was offering excerpts of books online without the permission of copyright holders, putting the onus on authors and rights holders to claim payments or to voice their objections.
The British Library works with a variety of partners and aims to have much of its collection of 150 million items online and available to the public by 2020.
A previous partnership with Microsoft resulted in the digitization of 65 million 19th century books, some of which are now available through an app for Apple's iPad launched earlier this month.
British Library Chief Executive Lynne Brindley told Reuters: "You can see we're on a long journey. This represents another significant milestone but there are plenty more to go."
Saturday, June 18, 2011
My Favorite Short Story Writers
This is just a l;ist of my favorites. Have you any others to add?
10 Chuck Palahniuk
The author of “Fight Club” is not necessarily known as a “Short Story Writer,” however Palahniuk is a believer in the Ray Bradbury ritual of writing a short story every day. Many of his stories have ended up in his novels without the reader realizing they were originally independent tales. In one novel “haunted” he used a short story about a writers convention to bridge together 23 different short stories. This book features his infamous story “Guts” which has caused several people to faint when read aloud at book signings.
9 Washington Irving
Washington Irving was an American author, essayist, biographer and historian of the early 19th century. He was best known for his short stories “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” and “Rip Van Winkle”, both of which appear in his book The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent. His historical works include biographies of George Washington, Oliver Goldsmith and Muhammad, and several histories of 15th-century Spain dealing with subjects such as Christopher Columbus, the Moors, and the Alhambra.
8 Isaac Asimov
Asimov is certainly one of the most prolific writers in the English language. He is known for many different works from his series “Foundation”, and “Fantastic Voyage”, to text books and everything in-between. He is primarily known as a science fiction writer, however he is one of the few people to have their writing span every major category of the Dewy Decimal System except Philosophy. He wrote an estimated 515 books in his lifetime. As far as writing short stories goes, he has 3 well known stories. “I, Robot”, “The Bicentennial Man”, and “The Last Question.” The first two have been turned into movies. He wrote 19 Short Story collections, spanning a total of 284.
7 Ray Bradbury
Bradbury is a very well known Science Fiction writer. He is famous for writing a short story every day, a ritual that many other writers have attempted to follow. He has written 11 novels, 3 of which are made up of loosely connected stories, and over 40 short story collections, for a grand total of over 400 short stories and novellas. But it’s not just quantity that earns him a place on this list. His best known short story “A Sound of Thunder”, is the origin of a common science fiction theme called “the butterfly effect”, it is also the most republished science fiction story of all time.
6 Stephen King
King is one of the most popular authors in America, and a very prolific writer as well. He is a huge fan of the short story. “1408″, “The Mist”, and “Hearts in Atlantis” are just a few of the 35 short stories he wrote that have been made into movies, though perhaps the most famous is “Stand By Me”. He has written 8 story collections and a total of 124 short stories and 17 Novellas in his career. He was also selected to be the editor of The Best American Short Stories of 2007, and also won the O. Henry Award in 1996.
5 J.D. Salinger
Salinger is known for his novel “Catcher in the Rye”, this is actually his only published novel. A very eccentric writer, he has written a great deal of material in his life, but much of it has never been seen by any one but him. He has 3 other books available to the public. “Nine Stories”, “Frannie and Zoey”, and “Raise High the Roof Beams, Carpenters and Seymour an Introduction”. All 3 of these books are short story collections. He also has about 2 dozen other uncollected short stories. Salinger is considered by many to be the greatest American writer of the 20th century.
4 O. Henry
Real name William Sydney Porter. O. Henry is known for writing flash fiction with wit and a strange twist ending. His most well known story is “The Gift of the Magi” which is a story about a young poor couple who each sells their most precious object in order to buy a Christmas gift for their partner, but in doing so they end up making each others gift worthless. This story has been retold in many different forms over the years. The O. Henry Award was established in his honor, it is a very prestigious award given to outstanding short story writers. Two writers on this list have won this award.
3 John Updike
Updike was an extremely gifted short story writer, he published over 150 short stories in his career, his last collection “Tears of my Father” was published in June 2009, about 6 months after his death. He has also won over 30 different awards in his lifetime including: the Pulitzer, the Rea Award, the PEN/Falkner award, and the aforementioned O. Henry Award to name a few.
2 F. Scott Fitzgerald
F. Scott Fitzgerald was an American writer of novels and short stories, whose works are evocative of the Jazz Age, a term he coined himself. He is widely regarded as one of the twentieth century’s greatest writers. Fitzgerald is considered a member of the “Lost Generation” of the Twenties. He finished four novels, including The Great Gatsby, with another published posthumously, and wrote dozens of short stories that treat themes of youth and promise along with despair and age. If you want a recommendation for his greatest two short stories, I suggest reading “Bernice Bobs Her Hair” and “The Diamond As Big As The Ritz”. You won’t be disappointed.
1 Edgar Allen Poe
Poe is probably the most famous English short story writer of all time. Poe only wrote one complete novel in his lifetime, and it is not very well known, however his short stories are. Most people can tell you the story of “The Tell Tale Heart”, “The Masque of the Red Death,” or “The Pit and the Pendulum”. Poe has over 65 short stories to his name. Poe is also considered to have invented the detective genre.
10 Chuck Palahniuk
The author of “Fight Club” is not necessarily known as a “Short Story Writer,” however Palahniuk is a believer in the Ray Bradbury ritual of writing a short story every day. Many of his stories have ended up in his novels without the reader realizing they were originally independent tales. In one novel “haunted” he used a short story about a writers convention to bridge together 23 different short stories. This book features his infamous story “Guts” which has caused several people to faint when read aloud at book signings.
9 Washington Irving
Washington Irving was an American author, essayist, biographer and historian of the early 19th century. He was best known for his short stories “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” and “Rip Van Winkle”, both of which appear in his book The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent. His historical works include biographies of George Washington, Oliver Goldsmith and Muhammad, and several histories of 15th-century Spain dealing with subjects such as Christopher Columbus, the Moors, and the Alhambra.
8 Isaac Asimov
Asimov is certainly one of the most prolific writers in the English language. He is known for many different works from his series “Foundation”, and “Fantastic Voyage”, to text books and everything in-between. He is primarily known as a science fiction writer, however he is one of the few people to have their writing span every major category of the Dewy Decimal System except Philosophy. He wrote an estimated 515 books in his lifetime. As far as writing short stories goes, he has 3 well known stories. “I, Robot”, “The Bicentennial Man”, and “The Last Question.” The first two have been turned into movies. He wrote 19 Short Story collections, spanning a total of 284.
7 Ray Bradbury
Bradbury is a very well known Science Fiction writer. He is famous for writing a short story every day, a ritual that many other writers have attempted to follow. He has written 11 novels, 3 of which are made up of loosely connected stories, and over 40 short story collections, for a grand total of over 400 short stories and novellas. But it’s not just quantity that earns him a place on this list. His best known short story “A Sound of Thunder”, is the origin of a common science fiction theme called “the butterfly effect”, it is also the most republished science fiction story of all time.
6 Stephen King
King is one of the most popular authors in America, and a very prolific writer as well. He is a huge fan of the short story. “1408″, “The Mist”, and “Hearts in Atlantis” are just a few of the 35 short stories he wrote that have been made into movies, though perhaps the most famous is “Stand By Me”. He has written 8 story collections and a total of 124 short stories and 17 Novellas in his career. He was also selected to be the editor of The Best American Short Stories of 2007, and also won the O. Henry Award in 1996.
5 J.D. Salinger
Salinger is known for his novel “Catcher in the Rye”, this is actually his only published novel. A very eccentric writer, he has written a great deal of material in his life, but much of it has never been seen by any one but him. He has 3 other books available to the public. “Nine Stories”, “Frannie and Zoey”, and “Raise High the Roof Beams, Carpenters and Seymour an Introduction”. All 3 of these books are short story collections. He also has about 2 dozen other uncollected short stories. Salinger is considered by many to be the greatest American writer of the 20th century.
4 O. Henry
Real name William Sydney Porter. O. Henry is known for writing flash fiction with wit and a strange twist ending. His most well known story is “The Gift of the Magi” which is a story about a young poor couple who each sells their most precious object in order to buy a Christmas gift for their partner, but in doing so they end up making each others gift worthless. This story has been retold in many different forms over the years. The O. Henry Award was established in his honor, it is a very prestigious award given to outstanding short story writers. Two writers on this list have won this award.
3 John Updike
Updike was an extremely gifted short story writer, he published over 150 short stories in his career, his last collection “Tears of my Father” was published in June 2009, about 6 months after his death. He has also won over 30 different awards in his lifetime including: the Pulitzer, the Rea Award, the PEN/Falkner award, and the aforementioned O. Henry Award to name a few.
2 F. Scott Fitzgerald
F. Scott Fitzgerald was an American writer of novels and short stories, whose works are evocative of the Jazz Age, a term he coined himself. He is widely regarded as one of the twentieth century’s greatest writers. Fitzgerald is considered a member of the “Lost Generation” of the Twenties. He finished four novels, including The Great Gatsby, with another published posthumously, and wrote dozens of short stories that treat themes of youth and promise along with despair and age. If you want a recommendation for his greatest two short stories, I suggest reading “Bernice Bobs Her Hair” and “The Diamond As Big As The Ritz”. You won’t be disappointed.
1 Edgar Allen Poe
Poe is probably the most famous English short story writer of all time. Poe only wrote one complete novel in his lifetime, and it is not very well known, however his short stories are. Most people can tell you the story of “The Tell Tale Heart”, “The Masque of the Red Death,” or “The Pit and the Pendulum”. Poe has over 65 short stories to his name. Poe is also considered to have invented the detective genre.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Did You Know Poe Had A Cat - and He Wrote Too!
We all know what Edgar Allen Poe thought of the Raven.....but what really happened that midnight eerie? Only his cat knew the truth...
On a night quite unenchanting, when the rain was downward slanting,
I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for.
Tipsy and a bit unshaven, in a tone I found quite craven,
Poe was talking to a Raven perched above the chamber door.
"Raven's very tasty," thought I, as I tiptoed o'er the floor,
"There is nothing I like more"
Soft upon the rug I treaded, calm and careful as I headed
Towards his roost atop that dreaded bust of Pallas I deplore.
While the bard and birdie chattered, I made sure that nothing clattered,
Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered, as I crossed the corridor
For his house is crammed with trinkets, curios and wierd decor -
Bric-a-brac and junk galore.
Still the Raven never fluttered, standing stock-still as he uttered,
In a voice that shrieked and sputtered, his two cents' worth -
"Nevermore."
While this dirge the birdbrain kept up, oh, so silently I crept up,
Then I crouched and quickly lept up, pouncing on the feathered bore.
Soon he was a heap of plumage, and a little blood and gore -
Only this and not much more.
"Oooo!" my pickled poet cried out, "Pussycat, it's time I dried out!
Never sat I in my hideout talking to a bird before
How I've wallowed in self-pity, while my gallant, valiant kitty
Put and end to that damned ditty" - then I heard him start to snore.
Back atop the door I clambered, eyed that statue I abhor,
Jumped - and smashed it on the floor.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Best Entry Ever
In my last post I mentioned the demise of Schott's Vocab. Today I would like to offer possibly the best entry to a Weekend Competition. The topic, as my often-faulty memory says, had to do with pins.
Enjoy!
This has to be one of the best weekend competition entries I have ever read!
The following was a joint spontaneous effort among friends about a year ago, which I revised somewhat for this competition:
PHIL’S INTRODUCTION:
C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says: “Sorry, but we don’t serve minors.”
So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me, I’ll just be a second.”
Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. He notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, “Get out now. You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”
The next night, E-flat waltzes in accompanied by a very drunken C. The bartender says, “E-flat and C again! This could be a major development.”
Someone called the police and a capella soon arrived, who put C under a rest. He was acoustic of public drunkenness and marched off to jail. He objected loudly, alto no avail.
C was brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, for de cadence, for breaking the Penal Coda by having an unprotected sax. And otherwise fluting the law. He was sentenced to 10 years at an upscale aria facility
On a peal, however, C was found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that the charges were bassless.
MIKE CHIMED IN WITH, “HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED TO E-FLAT…”
E-flat, not easily deflatted, came back to the bar the next night clad only in a three-piece suite, which he removed, and stood there au natural, with exposed octaves partially hidden by a small fan dangle, apparently pedaling himself
A drunk who ate at the bar, Bached away and said, “Don’t that beat all!” and yelled for the boss Tony Pops, who called the voice squad.
The squad lieder said, “Gavotte do we have here?” They saw what was going on, saw E flat was carrying a piece, and said, “OK, E-flat, you know the quadrille. The jig is up!”
Pops wanted to refrain from prestoing charges because E-flat was not a violin offender, but the cops medley persisted, saying “Euphonium, we a rest ‘em.”
E-flat said, “Wait a minuet – reed my lips – these charges are falsetto!” The cops said, “Etude, you are slurring your phrases, off you go!”
The cops treated him like a piano kidding. They tried to march him off to jail in double time, but his movements were slow. His feet were retardando by tightly noted chords, and he could only take half-steps down the rocky clef to the jail, whose inmates were making noises lie kazoo.
Things progressioned from ballad to verse. Before they even made a notation in the station house register, the cops beat him with his own staff. He called his very obase fife Ella G, but the cops told her to make herself scherzo.
Ella G called a defense lyre, Lyn D. Hop, who knew E’s lady judge. Lyn thought he could get E out of jail, saying, despite being under a gigue order, “I wood baton it as long as E-flat can common time to see the judge and meter in her chamber.”
In jail, E-flat complained that all he had to eat was tune a fish, octet-opus, scale yunz and apple encores thrown in for good measure, with no soprano to wash his smelodious hands.
But his big-bassooned fife Ella G brought him a quartet of high screams for dessert, so he composed himself and changed his tune.
Lynn conducted E-flat’s defense by trumpeting his innocence in a longa breve to the court, saying “This is no hum drum case!”
He insisted on an impromptu trial, and arranged a bridge loan for E-flat’s bail, since he was going baroque.
A relative pitched for his release. And E-flat’s mother, Ma Zurka, even paid the lyre’s daily podium fees.
At E-flat’s trio, his lyre proved that there was no motif, and that the charges were prelude icrus. This tuned out to B a key theme , and his tone proved instrumental in the resulting verdict.
Dorian the trial the judge sostenutoed almost all defense objections, which gave E-flat quite a trill.
After a chorus of blues from E-flat’s supporters turned into a crescendo, the judged bowed to the mob, recapitulated to the inevitable, said “I am obbligato to release him!,” declaring the trial mute.
The prosecution failed to overture this release on a peal. All in all, a suite victory – avoiding being sentenced to an insti-tutti.
Everyone now agrees that E flat’s a rest had been a grave mistake, was glad that the judge set hymn loose, and that all his legato problems were finé.
The bar owner gave everyone a free round, ordered pizza gatos, played his treasured frank sonata records, and said we should all “just fuguettaboudit and all live in Harmonium”.
OTIS HORNED IN WITH:
It’s very encouraging that after such a wide interval, E-flat’s case was resolved.
It was rumored that E’s fat fife was getting tired of being retenuto, from singing; when the good news reached her, she took an Allegro to clear her sinuses and began crowing loudly, which got her into treble with her neighbors.
You pickup the story from hear.
JOHN FINALIZED WITH:
I have no symphony for those who are bass enough to crescendo this chorus by mail to other musicians; it’s cymballic of the times that we now orchestrate even puns!
Enjoy!
This has to be one of the best weekend competition entries I have ever read!
The following was a joint spontaneous effort among friends about a year ago, which I revised somewhat for this competition:
PHIL’S INTRODUCTION:
C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says: “Sorry, but we don’t serve minors.”
So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me, I’ll just be a second.”
Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. He notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, “Get out now. You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”
The next night, E-flat waltzes in accompanied by a very drunken C. The bartender says, “E-flat and C again! This could be a major development.”
Someone called the police and a capella soon arrived, who put C under a rest. He was acoustic of public drunkenness and marched off to jail. He objected loudly, alto no avail.
C was brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, for de cadence, for breaking the Penal Coda by having an unprotected sax. And otherwise fluting the law. He was sentenced to 10 years at an upscale aria facility
On a peal, however, C was found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that the charges were bassless.
MIKE CHIMED IN WITH, “HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED TO E-FLAT…”
E-flat, not easily deflatted, came back to the bar the next night clad only in a three-piece suite, which he removed, and stood there au natural, with exposed octaves partially hidden by a small fan dangle, apparently pedaling himself
A drunk who ate at the bar, Bached away and said, “Don’t that beat all!” and yelled for the boss Tony Pops, who called the voice squad.
The squad lieder said, “Gavotte do we have here?” They saw what was going on, saw E flat was carrying a piece, and said, “OK, E-flat, you know the quadrille. The jig is up!”
Pops wanted to refrain from prestoing charges because E-flat was not a violin offender, but the cops medley persisted, saying “Euphonium, we a rest ‘em.”
E-flat said, “Wait a minuet – reed my lips – these charges are falsetto!” The cops said, “Etude, you are slurring your phrases, off you go!”
The cops treated him like a piano kidding. They tried to march him off to jail in double time, but his movements were slow. His feet were retardando by tightly noted chords, and he could only take half-steps down the rocky clef to the jail, whose inmates were making noises lie kazoo.
Things progressioned from ballad to verse. Before they even made a notation in the station house register, the cops beat him with his own staff. He called his very obase fife Ella G, but the cops told her to make herself scherzo.
Ella G called a defense lyre, Lyn D. Hop, who knew E’s lady judge. Lyn thought he could get E out of jail, saying, despite being under a gigue order, “I wood baton it as long as E-flat can common time to see the judge and meter in her chamber.”
In jail, E-flat complained that all he had to eat was tune a fish, octet-opus, scale yunz and apple encores thrown in for good measure, with no soprano to wash his smelodious hands.
But his big-bassooned fife Ella G brought him a quartet of high screams for dessert, so he composed himself and changed his tune.
Lynn conducted E-flat’s defense by trumpeting his innocence in a longa breve to the court, saying “This is no hum drum case!”
He insisted on an impromptu trial, and arranged a bridge loan for E-flat’s bail, since he was going baroque.
A relative pitched for his release. And E-flat’s mother, Ma Zurka, even paid the lyre’s daily podium fees.
At E-flat’s trio, his lyre proved that there was no motif, and that the charges were prelude icrus. This tuned out to B a key theme , and his tone proved instrumental in the resulting verdict.
Dorian the trial the judge sostenutoed almost all defense objections, which gave E-flat quite a trill.
After a chorus of blues from E-flat’s supporters turned into a crescendo, the judged bowed to the mob, recapitulated to the inevitable, said “I am obbligato to release him!,” declaring the trial mute.
The prosecution failed to overture this release on a peal. All in all, a suite victory – avoiding being sentenced to an insti-tutti.
Everyone now agrees that E flat’s a rest had been a grave mistake, was glad that the judge set hymn loose, and that all his legato problems were finé.
The bar owner gave everyone a free round, ordered pizza gatos, played his treasured frank sonata records, and said we should all “just fuguettaboudit and all live in Harmonium”.
OTIS HORNED IN WITH:
It’s very encouraging that after such a wide interval, E-flat’s case was resolved.
It was rumored that E’s fat fife was getting tired of being retenuto, from singing; when the good news reached her, she took an Allegro to clear her sinuses and began crowing loudly, which got her into treble with her neighbors.
You pickup the story from hear.
JOHN FINALIZED WITH:
I have no symphony for those who are bass enough to crescendo this chorus by mail to other musicians; it’s cymballic of the times that we now orchestrate even puns!
Friday, June 3, 2011
A Sad Note
In place of the post I was planning to post tomorrow on the National Spelling Bee, I bring you some very sad news...
Thursday morning I made my usual rounds of the internet and was stunned when I came to my favorite word-related site. Schott's Vocab. I was dumbfounded to read the following...
"After two and a half years, thousands of posts and tens of thousands of comments, Schott’s Vocab is closing its doors.
"It has been an absolute pleasure to trawl the seas of linguistic development – netting the flotsam, jetsam and ligan of neologism, and presenting the choicest specimens for display and comment...
"But this blog would not have been an inch as much fun without the comments and quips of a legion of co-vocabularists who, not least at the weekends, raised eyebrows and smiles in equal measure."
The weekends were such a joy as Ben would offer up a competition on a wide variety of topics meant to stimulate thought and wit. The subjects included such wonderful topics as Greeting Card Slogans, Conversation Stoppers, Prayers, New Bond Film Titles, Linguistic Resolutions, Ways to Leave Your Lover, Define Friendship, Graffiti, Define Family, Crossword Clues, Fool's Errands, Define Education, Unlikely Excuses, Euphemisms for Death, Malapropisms, Pun(ishment), Euphemisms for Stupidity, Thingummyjigs, Imaginary Libraries, Tom Swifties and Favorite. Word. Ever.
The comments, indeed in large numbers, were thought-provoking, witty, down-right hilarious and time well spent.
I sincerely hope the NYT will archive all of those competitions. It would be sad to lose all of that genius.
I am deeply saddened to see this all come to an end. It has Ben great - you took your best Schott and hit a bulls-eye that many could not even see.
Thursday morning I made my usual rounds of the internet and was stunned when I came to my favorite word-related site. Schott's Vocab. I was dumbfounded to read the following...
"After two and a half years, thousands of posts and tens of thousands of comments, Schott’s Vocab is closing its doors.
"It has been an absolute pleasure to trawl the seas of linguistic development – netting the flotsam, jetsam and ligan of neologism, and presenting the choicest specimens for display and comment...
"But this blog would not have been an inch as much fun without the comments and quips of a legion of co-vocabularists who, not least at the weekends, raised eyebrows and smiles in equal measure."
The weekends were such a joy as Ben would offer up a competition on a wide variety of topics meant to stimulate thought and wit. The subjects included such wonderful topics as Greeting Card Slogans, Conversation Stoppers, Prayers, New Bond Film Titles, Linguistic Resolutions, Ways to Leave Your Lover, Define Friendship, Graffiti, Define Family, Crossword Clues, Fool's Errands, Define Education, Unlikely Excuses, Euphemisms for Death, Malapropisms, Pun(ishment), Euphemisms for Stupidity, Thingummyjigs, Imaginary Libraries, Tom Swifties and Favorite. Word. Ever.
The comments, indeed in large numbers, were thought-provoking, witty, down-right hilarious and time well spent.
I sincerely hope the NYT will archive all of those competitions. It would be sad to lose all of that genius.
I am deeply saddened to see this all come to an end. It has Ben great - you took your best Schott and hit a bulls-eye that many could not even see.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Sorry...Just A Short Post Today
Have a smile or two...
AISLE, ALTAR, HYMN thought the bride as she entered the church.
Worry causes falling hair. Thus, when the going gets tough, the tufts get going.
AISLE, ALTAR, HYMN thought the bride as she entered the church.
Worry causes falling hair. Thus, when the going gets tough, the tufts get going.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Did The Titanic Flounder?
In a recent news article there was confusion on this, when a baseball team was referred to as a ship that had hit an iceberg and “floundered.”
The noun “flounder” is a fish. The verb “flounder” means “to struggle awkwardly to move, as in deep mud or snow; plunge about in a stumbling manner.”
This could certainly describe a struggling football team’s woeful efforts, but not when it’s being compared to a ship. A ship in trouble can “founder” — “to fill with water, as during a storm, and sink.”
Applied to things other than ships and boats, to founder is “to break down; collapse; fail.”
Something that’s floundering is still making some effort, even if inelegantly. Something that’s foundered has stopped moving altogether.
How to keep them straight? Once again, I bow to the great Daffy Duck, who says of a foe temporarily knocked unconscious:
“He’s colder than a foundered flounder.”
For now, th-th-that’s all, folks!
Except for a reply from my letter to the editor. It must be lost in the mail.There was recent confusion on this, when a football team was referred to as a ship that had hit an iceberg and “floundered.”
The noun “flounder” is a fish. The verb “flounder” means “to struggle awkwardly to move, as in deep mud or snow; plunge about in a stumbling manner.”
This could certainly describe a struggling football team’s woeful efforts, but not when it’s being compared to a ship. A ship in trouble can “founder” — “to fill with water, as during a storm, and sink.”
Applied to things other than ships and boats, to founder is “to break down; collapse; fail.”
Something that’s floundering is still making some effort, even if inelegantly. Something that’s foundered has stopped moving altogether.
How to keep them straight? Once again, I bow to the great Daffy Duck, who says of a foe temporarily knocked unconscious:
“He’s colder than a foundered flounder.”
For now, th-th-that’s all, folks!
Except for a reply from my letter to the editor. It must be lost in the mail.There was recent confusion on this, when a football team was referred to as a ship that had hit an iceberg and “floundered.”
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